Punctuality

man naturally loves delay,
and to procrastinate;
business put off from day to day
is always done too late.

let every hour be in its place
firm fixed, nor loosely shift,
and well enjoy the vacant space,
as though it were a gift.

and when the hour arrives, be there,
where'er that "there" may be;
uncleanly hands or ruffled hair
let no one ever see.

if dinner at "half-past" be placed,
at "half-past" then be dressed.
if at a "quarter-past" make haste
to be down with the rest

better to be before your time,
than e'er to be behind;
to ope the door while strikes the chime,
that shows a punctual mind.

- Lewis Carroll

Harriet! Harry-it,
hard-hearted harbinger of haggis...
Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher.
Un-trust... ing.
Un-know... ing.
Un-love... ed?
He wants you back, he screams into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire...
except the passion of his heart.
I am lonely!
It's really hard!
This poem... sucks.

Your argument for atheism is this: "There was a time where the church ruled and everybody believed in God, these were called the Dark Ages." Okay, people believed in magic and witches, and technology was hardly advanced, right? Well just as technology has advanced, so has religion, and the relative belief in God. Remember when the Earth was flat? That was quite the discovery. Remember when African American people weren't allowed into the LDS church? Remember when the effects of cigarette smoking were actually a punishment given to you by God? The idea of a higher power is not primitive. Certain beliefs and ideas are, and they evolve as the Earth does. There is nothing valid about using the religious beliefs of hundreds of years ago to try and prove a point. We, as humans, grow and become more intelligent as the years go by. We leave beliefs behind and conjure new discoveries. I am not a religious person, but in my life spirituality is a key. I keep in tune with the universe, which is my higher power. I'm a strong believer in personal power and realization. I believe in living in peace and acceptance with the rest of the world. I really have nothing against atheism, I'd just like to hear a better reasoning. I've also heard the case of "Kids are starving in Africa and people are dying of cancer, where's God?" That's an even worse argument. Miracles happen everyday and so do tragedies. Part of living on Earth is that there is good and bad. If everything were perfect that would completely destroy the point of being here.

my conclusions from tonight:

in junior high there were parents who said i was "rebellious". i was in the way of having boyfriends when i wasn't allowed, but i never did anything bad with them, only enjoyed their company. i never snuck out of my house, went past kissing, vandalized, or did drugs. i never even swore.

Jim Gaffigan can make me laugh very hard, and it hurts when I've just had a cup of lemonade and a cup of tea. Cory tickling only adds to the pain.

boys are my favorite gender when it comes to fun. i love their energy and what they choose to focus it on. boys, however, are not my favorite when it comes to personal relations and emotional subjects. they sicken me and i just want to punch them all and never let one in on my feelings. i do have the best conversations with boys. they always make me think and they always make me smile. i appreciate them.

drugs really gross me out...but i already knew that. i'll take that adrenaline high thank you. boarding, running, hiking, laughing..

this belongs on mine and alyx's tumblr but i'm posting it here because i'm proud of the way i got it out in words.

day six: your favorite season

this subject bores me because i’ve thought about it too much. all my life i’ve thought about it. my favorite season is fall because of the colors. and because halloween is in fall. i love the leaves in the canyons and on the ground. i love the perfect excuse for tea and the transformation everyone can feel going on. i love the atmosphere it gives for viewing my favorite movies, which are mostly gray and twisted. my favorite season is winter because of the snow. also because of the desire it brings for a warm fireplace. most of my fantasies are thought up in the winter. going to a jazz hall with that boy and going back home to watch the snow and dance around to it afterwards…sigh. i love the spirit and the movies i’m allowed to watch in the early season. santa clause is coming to town and all the classics. i love snowboarding snowboarding snowboarding. my favorite season is spring because of the warmth. i love the fresh mornings and the memories i can relive of waking up to the train at five when i would sleep at my grandma’s. i love the flowers and being reminded of the color green again. i love the state of comfort at school and the rainy days. my favorite season is summer because of the fun. i love the pool and the lake. i love the trip to california and the sand getting in the crevices of my camera every time. i love sitting in the street bare foot and still feeling clean. i love liberty park and the excessive excuses for fireworks. i love the concerts and the snow cones. i love the new possibility of everyday. every season is just the best season (: 

OK GO
needing/getting
i want you i want you, yeah i want you bad
so bad i can't think straight so bad all my bones shake so bad i can't breath
cheeks a little rosy in the February air
all is not lost, all is not lost
and there was no end to things. and no one tried to measure what they knew.. and the sky was still honestly blue.
WTF?
you'll never get that taste out of your mouth
and it's end love the sky is falling, the sky is falling
this too shall pass

embrace yourself

why is it so hard
for me to do what i want to do without somebody making me feel completely inferior, or like what i am isn't what i should be. maybe it's myself seeing me this way. i just really wish i had no need for anything primitive; like food. it sounds ridiculous. i don't understand though how some people seem to have the perfect balance in life. i want that balance so bad, i obsess over it. i want to cleanse, detox, exercise, and create. i want to let go of complication and anything unnecessary. somehow i can't ever seem to be good enough for myself. i can't like a guy, i can't eat a hamburger, i can't let myself go. i need to tighten my screws until i can look at myself without judging everything i am.

Happy Christmas,

one: i love God
two: i know what i believe, and what makes me happy
three: believe what you will, i accept it
four: i love all people, in all religious and non religious lights
five: i do not believe in scrutinizingly opposing another because of their beliefs
six: i MORE-SO do not believe in going on negatively about what you know nothing of
seven: it isn't right to put another's God down
eight: i wasn't offended by your belief, i was offended by your insulting the person i find most sacred
nine: in all subjects and differences in people, it is about acceptance and not opposition.
ten: if someone is happy, and not hurting others, why would you try to tell them they are wrong?

must be memorized by tomorrow afternoon:


anter/o- front, before
caud- tail
cephal/o- head
cyte- cell
ectomy- removal
erythr/o- red
hypo- decreased
intra- inside
leuk/o- white
megaly- enlargement
ology- study of
oma- tumor
ostomy- surgical opening
path/o- disease
plasia- development
poli/o- gray
post- after
pyr/o- fire, fever
rrhagia- bleeding
poster/o- behind, below
rrhea- discharge
scopy- visual examination
stenosis- narrowing
supra- above
cardi/o- heart
centesis- puncture
cyan/o- blue
end/o- within
ex/o- outside
hyper- excessive, increased
inter- between
itis- inflammation
malacia- softening
melan/o- black
my/o- muscle
necr/o- death
ologist- specialist
osis- condition
otomy- incision
peri- surround
plasty- surgical repair
poly- many
pre- before
pyel/o- pelvis
rrhaphy- suture
rrhexis- rupture
sclerosis- hardening
stasis- control
sub- below
carcin/o- cancer
immun/o- immune
lymph/o- lymph node
lymphangi/o- blood vessel
onc/o- tumor
phag/o- swallow
plasm- formation
splen/o- spleen
tic- pertaining to
tox/o- toxic
ankyl/o- stiff
chondr/o- cartilage
crani/o- cranium
cost/o- rib
desis- bind
kyph/o- bent
lord/o- curve
lysis- break down
oste/o- bone
lapar/o- abdomen
scoli/o- spine, curved
spondyl/o- vertibrea
synovi/o- synovial
fasci/o- fascia
bi- two
cele- hernia
fasci/o- face
fibr/o- fibrous
kinesi/o- movement
tri- three
ton/o- tone, tension
tax/o- coordination
angi/o- vessel
aort/o- aorta
crasia- blend
brady- slow
phleb/o- vein
tachy- fast
thromb/o- thrombus
ven/o- vein
anti- against
laryng/o- larynx
pharyng/o- pharynx
somn/o- sleep
spir/o- breath
bronch/o- bronchus
ox/o- oxygen
phon/o- voice
pleur/o- pleura
pneum/o- lung
trache/o- trachia, wind pipe
an/o- anus
chol/e- gall, bile
col/o- colon
enter/o- small intestine
cholecyst/o- gall bladder
gastr/o- stomach
hepat/o- liver
lithiasis- stones
pepsia- digest
emesis- vomit
proct/o- rectum, anus
sigmoid/o- sigmoid colon
cyst/o- bladder
glomerul/o- glomeralus
lith/o- stone
nephr/o- kidney
tripsy- crush
ptosis- droop
pexy- surgical fixation
uria- urine
urethr/o- urethra
ureter/o- ureter
ectasis- stretching
dia- through
psych/o- mental
encephal/o- brain
contus/o- bruse
concuss/o- concussion, shake
esthet/o- feeling
esthesia- sensation
graphy- record
klept/o- steal
mening/o- meninges (3 layers of the brain)
myel/o- spinal cord
tropic- infinity
phobia- fear
neur/o- nerve
mania- madness
caus/o- burning
blephar/o- eye lid
-cusis- hearing
irid/o- iris
kerat/o- hard
myring/o- ear drum
ophthalm/o- eyes
opia- vision
opt/o- eye
ot/o- ear
phak/o- lense
presby/o- aged
retin/o- retina
scler/o- sclera
trop/o- turn
tympan/o- ear drum
bi/o- life
derm/o- skin
dermat/o- skin
hidr/o- sweat
hirsut/o- hairy
gloss/o- tongue
lip/o- fat
pod/o- foot
myc/o- fungus
onych/o- nail
pedicul/o- lice
rhytid/o- wrinkle
seb/o- sebum, oil
urtic/o- hives, rash
xer/o- dry
acr/o- extremities
adren/o- adrenal
crin/o- secrete
-dipsia- first
glyc/o- sugar
gonad/o- sex glands
pancreat/o- pancreatis
parathyroid/o- parathyroid
pineal/o- pineal body
pituitar/o- pituitary
fet/o- fetus
somat/o- body
thym/o- thymus
thyroid/o- thyroid
cervic/o- cervics, neck
colp/o- vagina
-gravida- pregnant
gynec/o- female
hyster/o- uterus
mast/o- breast
men/o- menstruation
nulli- none
ov/o- egg
ovari/o- ovaries
-para- to give birth
chir/o- hands
salping/o- uterin tubes
orchid/o- testes



cool, right?

people with MINDS,

i appreciate them. i was thirsty for so long, only having a couple people i could actually talk to. now look at my life, it's full of actual people with actual thoughts and personalities and stuff. wow! and to think i didn't know they existed in real life (my life). along with my best buds alyx and brecken, i got a whole realm of amazing new people to talk to. everything's just wonderful. i'm having the time of my life(: you're right lily allen. i'm really grateful for people who are themselves and know whats good. there are a few people i would like to be better friends with so i can try? now i'm off to do a winter picture shoot with alymay.  

The Car Will Get Us There

the car will get us there so you don't have to wait we'll drive not walk cause i know that you hate the city when it rains but it does it all the time so i'll take you any time. i love your face your hair regardless of your mood we learn to talk it over till it's smooth. it really makes you brave, but i do it all the time and i love you cause you're mine. so talk to me and make me feel fine i hope you get all the time. forgive me if i'm ever aunry kiss me if you're mad at mommy love me even if i'm a mess take me as i am bad or best johnny loves jess. there are a couple things we don't always agree on what to watch or what we're gonna eat but i'm willing to change for the sake of me and you cause i know you're changing too. i try to think of how my life would probably be without you i would feel so unhappy cause you balance me out you're the minus to my plus when it's just the two of us.

<3<3<3

All I want for Christmas is to meet Lights.

December

you know,

i need to set my mind straight toward accomplishing every one of my goals. somehow my goals from last year all came true, and i plan on making this a life long habit. i have four big things in mind for this year's accomplishments. one: i would like to get my boarding confidence up. i need to set aside time (and possibly money) and really try to get better at it. two: getting my college plans in order. i am going to weber. that i know. i need to find out what i need to do to move toward the specific things i want to study. i want to work toward dental hygiene and also study french. in the summer me and alyx are going to have to figure out our housing. i am SO excited to live with my best friend! three: i'd like to run (as in race) at least one 5k this year. i feel pretty confident in my endurance and as long as i keep up my practice i think i'd do just fine. four: i want to save up my money for once. i need to prove to myself and to my dad that i am capable of money control and i will not live my life in debt. i'm never in debt anyway, i just never have a stalk of cash just sitting around. 

so those are the big goals. as far as little things go, it will be great getting back to my natural hair color and also living my life as colorfully as possible. it would be pretty cool to go on a wild road trip through the desert or something and stop at some interesting places. i want this to be the year where i give back. i already have this thing going where i give something to another person once a month, like a gift or just a thank you for being awesome. i'm really stoked for christmas because i'm getting all my parents and best friends something! i only have to budget myself correctly, which i'm currently learning how to do. it just takes practice of control and knowing what's important i guess. also, i should probably learn how to capitalize things o.0 

what do i love? like really love?

the good stuff

What a good night.

first of all, i have to ask, cause i think i'm weird, so many commas, anyway, do you ever come home after the day's over and just stay in your not so comfortable clothes because you need to look good while you blog? oh....that's just me? okay....did i just drink coffee or what. oh my goodness, i'm going to document my evening now. so i chilled at home for a minute after shopping for a new outfit for tomorrow (got asked on a date........... (; ) and when my parents came home my step mom said she wanted to hang out Sunday! which totally made me happy, cause i love her. then i drove over to Hailey's to chill while she did the last of her homework and helped her a bit. then we went down the street to the Beans and Brews on ninth, not the one closest cause that one gives me the creeps. i got a peppermint mocha with raspberry and wow it was delicious! i'm not usually a coffee drinker but the holidays have just inspired my taste i think. we just sat and chatted, you know just the usual recent updates on our lives, then we had a great conversation about our futures. it made me so excited for everything that is to come. it's such a beautiful thing, the future! you can make it however you want, it's just great. so after an hour or so we got back in the car and left jamming out to Lily Allen, my soundtrack of the night, and i took her home. now i'm back here thinking about what i'll do for my homework project in creative writing and still flowing to Lily. the night was simple but i loved it. one of the reasons why my mood is being so easily pushed in the happy direction is because i have a date and it was unexpected. it's always nice when you get asked on an actual date. i think so anyway. i like new and fresh events, and right now everything's feeling fresh. 

ah, i just want to live in this excitement for the simplest of things

basically,

Raving is gross, so gross i think i might throw up thinking about it, it doesn't get fresher than Mitchell Davis, the color teal is just my color, along with burnt yellow (name? Egyptian Mustache), my right wrist works but it does it painfully, i love chiropractors, detox's are my thing, running is the one hobby i can say i'm good at, i'm trying to get good at snowboarding, the smell of tea is all i need to remember life is lovely, i wish i knew every word in the English (and French) dictionary, i'm sick of having the hair i always wanted, i'm more than ready to go natural, i need to help our environment (even if you don't think it needs it...why is that a bad thing?), i love myself, i love our world, and i have a headache. 

and there is so much more to say

i loved Thanksgiving so much. my family is truly my greatest blessing. glad to have some friends in my life. i wish my guy friends would STOP getting girlfriends, but at least they're happy. i'll just have to carry on; find the good moments; hang with good people. if you're a person who wants to enjoy life and sees the beauty in your own way, omg let's be friends! plz! 

i need to lay this down. it is never going to go anywhere with me, so please don't try. i pretend like it's going to be different every time, but i know it won't be. like somehow this boy and this kiss will feel like anything more than a shit waste of time. i haven't felt a tingle or butterfly's in my stomach since the last boy who shot me down and made my life hell for all of spring afterward. i haven't believed any guy could make a difference since the last ass hole who i thought was my best friend then turned around and snubbed me into the dirt. 

what doesn't matter to me is finding that "one guy". i couldn't care less because the only difference that guy will make is giving me another reason to post my walls. people are cool but i don't know anyone cool enough to be my all. i've had that, and i don't need it again. once was one time too many. once was enough to haunt me for all the months after, cycling through the seasons. why is it an obsession the world has? what has love got to do with anything? love is for friends and family, people do connect on that level and i believe in love. just not the kind where you care if they are talking to other girls. i don't even know what that would feel like. i guess two can share a more powerful bond than all of this nonsense; i just don't know how to comprehend it. 

Harry Potta

Harry Potta,

success? i'd say so! the movie was literally like a screen playing back to me my imagination of that sacred book. there were literally only a few tiny details missing which i can accept because none were huge deals. i noticed more lines from the book than in any other movie and every character played their part so well! at the beginning when it showed Snape i could feel his evil and wanted to punch him in the face, even though i KNOW he isn't actually a bad guy!! that's how amazing he was! and Ron! Rupert did such an incredible job of acting his emotion through the whole thing. the place where they ended it was absolutely perfect! it really could not have been any better. i loved it. 

so uh, there's my movie review

well,

i'm over what no one else seems to be. i'm into being clean like as in healthy and pure. i guess that isn't fun for others. i believe in living and being free, make choices and be happy. but if you aren't happy, change what you're doing. everything is just making me sick. i am actually happy when i'm being clean and productive. living fresh. snow boarding and running are all that i'm putting on my agenda. 

i would love to be able to catch the next plane to Switzerland, France, or England. i really need a culture shock. i need to breath new air. i realize how things are in this valley. i love the people here and i love the mountains. i just can't wait until senior trip. i'll be in London feeling like i'm alive. that's the plan anyway. i'll go alone, i don't care. i'm not sure why i am posting such a personal train of thoughts, but really i just need to get it on a screen to read to myself. as far as i can see, i'm not comfortable where i am. and i'm really searching for that comfort. 

my ideals

well, if i were to mark my body with ink, which i probably won't, i would want a few tattoos. a sun on my right shoulder blade, a cheshire cat hidden on my leg, a moulin rouge quote just somewhere, an indian chief on the side of my right arm, and a nature related image on my foot (i can't decide what). anyway, that's not a real goal it's just a what if kind of dealio. i'm going to the craft store with my step mom this weekend and we are buying a canvas and paint. then i'm creating that picture and putting it on my wall! i am also buying colorful christmas lights to go around my window. then VOILA! my room will be the complete haven. i'm saving up all of my pay checks because i need:

- a camera

-moccasin boots

-cigarette jeans/gloves/sweaters

-boarding goggles/coat

that's the plan, i'll have all of those items for december. 

the new season, the new ambitions,

 the month of November brings along with it the most magical of events. the Ready Set concert....oh drool oh drool. harry potter and the deathly hallows part one...no words, only emotions. and thanksgiving in new mexico? brilliant. the new hair cut will bring freshness, and my endurance is sky rocketing this month. i'm on top of life. i control it entirely, and i can't wait for the new experiences. time to become that snowboarding champ i dream of and to stay on my path always.

Interpretation of Gray

A perfect world
The kind Tim Burton and Henry Selick Create
Doors leading to other worlds
This feeling I’ll try to ablaqueate

I feel at home in the cold and gray
It contrasts the grass and buildings classically
The scent of mint leaves is why I think of tea
Where I am isn’t captured photographically

How can you walk away from something and then come back?
Walk around the world
In gray I would like to, find the love of my life
That plan will refuse to be soiled

Gray is Coraline, Victor Van Dort, and Edward
Magnificently creepy and beautiful life
Clay-mation and short sketches expand on reality
Switch divinity from strife

Halloween Weekend

happy halloween.

i plan on wearing this costume today, just like yesterday, and tomorrow.

tonight i'm going to p a r t y with my girls
and tomorrow i'm watching all my favorite movies,
hopefully making halloween treats.
j'adore halloween

i have the thoughts, i have the mind, it works rather well.
what i'm lacking is the words, the actual communication
it's there, i feel it, i understand it until i try to explain
when i try to explain it gets fuzzy and weird
like it's no longer a complete thought, now i've confused myself.
i thank god for the people who take my thoughts and speak them to me clearly
they don't know me but they know themselves, and a part of us agrees
they say it, what is in my mind but never on paper
they put it on that paper and say it to who listens
it's so personal
spiritual for me
eff mrs brown and her babble
i'll take that cup of tea
the intellect i've heard vibrates through my muscles
i should analyze a dictionary
speak that other language
comprehend more than happy and sad
though simplicity is a brilliant thing
these subjects take that word and multiply the letters
until they infest the souls of all humans

October
automne
leaves falling crunching
like in fifth grade and in my front yard
autumn is the reason for the season
that expression doesn't even work in this case
i don't care, l'automne est la raison de la saison
i'm going to write a french song and use that line, i'll sound cultured and oh so clever

oh and the best part? gives my favorite movies and sketches a good atmosphere for viewing 

mitchell davis.
oh how i wish you were mine.

a long time ago, everything was fresh. nothing was old news, because even the old things were exciting and full of magic. this feeling of freshness was only in one girl's perspective, as she was new to the world. her life was an empty book put simply. she could, and did, imagine and make up whatever she wanted to. the pages would be temporarily written on, until she changed her mind or thought of greater ways of spashing her life together. everyone was good and everything was pure. it took very little to make her happy. she didn't wonder about the future, because that was a job for her grown up self. the lady who had lost all ability and interest in pretending, the one whose pages were being heavily filled with ink, the girl who didn't feel the curiosity. because now, everything is old news.

i wish i could stop painful feelings of betrayal and loss. i wish i could feel the way i felt before i missed the shots i had. i wish he hadn't been so munipulative, and i wish i had known how to handle my anger. i wish i could go back and undo my brutal words. i wish he would do the same. i wish i didn't have to change my mind so often because you can't take back what you say. i wish it were easier to forgive but more i wish there was nothing to forgive. i wish i still felt whole, and i wish i knew what i should do about it, whatever it is. it is my anger, sadness, and confusion. i really, really wish i had a solid ground to walk on.

my top inspirational music artists:

lights, owl city, regina spektor, frankmusik, keane, the maccabees, the wombats, matt and kim, muse, lily allen, the flaming lips, depeche mode, gwen stefani, david bowie, danny elfman, john denver, passion pit, cold play, maroon 5, the hush sound, cat stevens, jack johnson, john mayer, ok go, panic at the disco, and others... things like plug in stereo or romance on a rocketship

mainly it is lights and adam young that i just can't even explain my love for. i can't put it into words. and i'm too tired to put together the sentences. electronic music with beautiful roots and optimistic lyrics. 

Yes

yes.

As Of Late

my life as of late: