I'm Going To Jackson

July 2019.. We took a semi-spontaneous trip to Jackson and Teton National Park and I'm so glad we did. The weather was perfect and we got to see parts of the Tetons that we didn't see last time we came 3 years ago. We really couldn't have asked for a better trip. 

CUTE HUSBAND AND SUMMER FUN

We celebrated Ryan defending his thesis with a trip to Park City. One of my favorite parts about marriage is definitely these trips we take, just the two of us. We went to dinner at the same place we ate for our 1 year anniversary. Then we walked up and down Main Street. We got Ben and Jerry's ice cream and started the new season of Stranger things after getting in the hot tub of the condo we booked. It was just simple and fun.

We have been spending as much time as possible outside. A lot of that time has been up American Fork canyon since it is the closest to our house.

One of my plants sprouted all these little flowers. 

4th of July 5K with my grandpa and fireworks at Matt and Sharlene's

Waking up at 5:30 AM for swimming lessons

Grove Creek Meadow. This was a last minute decision to hike, and we were running out of daylight. It was totally worth finishing though.

Calf Creek Falls

Silver Lake

Lagoon Day and What it's Like in my Brain

The start of this weekend did not go according to plan. I had a really bad night on Friday and didn't fall asleep until 5:30 AM. My anxiety was at an all time high. My thoughts were making me feel so uncomfortable that I felt like I couldn't contain how I was feeling inside my body. The feeling of immense fear, self-loathing, and worry for the future was absolutely overwhelming. I honestly felt like everybody in my life was going to abandon me. Luckily I have learned that just because I am having a thought does NOT mean it is true.

The next morning the sky was blue and it was a beautiful day for a fresh start. I talked things over with my husband and said a prayer. It was time to go to Lagoon with my dad and step mom. Of course I didn't really feel like going after only having two hours of sleep, but I knew it would be a good thing to do. At Lagoon I talked to my dad and brother about what I was dealing with and they were both very loving and nonjudgemental. At this point I had talked to some of the most important people in my life and what do you know, none of them abandoned me! One thing I have learned is that I can prove my destructive thoughts wrong intentionally by expressing them, and not burying them.

Then today I went to church and taught the 4 year olds as a sub. I am so grateful I was able to do that. I felt the Spirit and the love of Heavenly Father strong today. I know we are all meant to experience contrast as a part of this life, and as dark as it feels at times, I have felt the light equally as often.