The start of this weekend did not go according to plan. I had a really bad night on Friday and didn't fall asleep until 5:30 AM. My anxiety was at an all time high. My thoughts were making me feel so uncomfortable that I felt like I couldn't contain how I was feeling inside my body. The feeling of immense fear, self-loathing, and worry for the future was absolutely overwhelming. I honestly felt like everybody in my life was going to abandon me. Luckily I have learned that just because I am having a thought does NOT mean it is true.
The next morning the sky was blue and it was a beautiful day for a fresh start. I talked things over with my husband and said a prayer. It was time to go to Lagoon with my dad and step mom. Of course I didn't really feel like going after only having two hours of sleep, but I knew it would be a good thing to do. At Lagoon I talked to my dad and brother about what I was dealing with and they were both very loving and nonjudgemental. At this point I had talked to some of the most important people in my life and what do you know, none of them abandoned me! One thing I have learned is that I can prove my destructive thoughts wrong intentionally by expressing them, and not burying them.
Then today I went to church and taught the 4 year olds as a sub. I am so grateful I was able to do that. I felt the Spirit and the love of Heavenly Father strong today. I know we are all meant to experience contrast as a part of this life, and as dark as it feels at times, I have felt the light equally as often.
