Things I Want to Remember from 2017

I am absolutely obsessed with pictures and documenting life. Except I really suck at it. Doing this makes me sad I haven't put every other life event that has ever happened to me on this blog. But I am happy with what I have posted. After all, this blog is -literally- my journal.

So here are some out of order things that have happened in the year 2017.

I want to start with things not pictured. I am pretty sure this is the year that Ryan and I went and saw Regina Spektor and it was ohhhh soooo fabulous. I love her music with all of my soul. We also saw Manchester Orchestra, and other musicians that I can't remember right now. This is why I need written proof or photos of my life. Anyway, Here are some things:

(In another post - but this was taken on the Oregon coast)

 Ashton's baptism. This is the day I gave a talk on receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost and I cried uncontrollably the whole time I was speaking. Then I tripped on my way down from the pulpit. Good job Lennyx. But really, good job Ashton.

Camping at Payson Lakes. Seeing Ava catch her first fish with Ryan's help. Watching Chicken Run in the tent with Ryan and Stevie.

Hiking Kanaraville Falls for the 4th of July with Ryan, Boston, and Ashton. Staying in a tent the night before and laughing our heads off watching The Hot Chick.

 Babysitting Anna's kids the week of Mothers Day and taking them to Park City to swim and hang out with Ryan's Family. And having half my primary class be my blood relatives that Sunday since the Rogers and Menke's were gone which left us and the Barrington's to babysit.

 All the flowers that bloomed this year.

Breakfast at Penny Anne's with husband, brothers, dad, and Michelle, and grandpa and Patty. A simple summer morning.

Being in the mountains. Milcreek Canyon and American Fork Canyon

Backpacking Lake Blanche. Seeing a moose take a swim around the lake at sunset.

 

  Hanging out with Trin and seeing Beauty and the Beast.

Backpacking Naturalist Basin. The feeling of sweet relief when after hearing Tyson scream and flip out in the night... that it was just a night terror, and not a bear ripping him into pieces.

   Having friends to celebrate my birthday with.

Going to the zoo for my mother in-law's birthday.

Completing a 10-year long goal of running a marathon. And then getting in a nap after and waking up wondering if both my legs were broken. Then going to a Romero Family BBQ.

 Grandpa's 70th birthday in California. Seeing him so happy to have his whole family near.

 Ryan's graduation.

 Our 1 year anniversary spent buying like $200 worth of food that we couldn't begin to finish and then staying at a posh Park City hotel and watching Fairly Odd Parents and SpongeBob. Was that a run-on sentence?

 Oceanside Family Trip. I loved attempting to enjoy the harsh ocean waves with Ryan. But really I loved walking around the town and eating new food. And my private morning runs along the beach.

To be Continued...

October 2017

Here is all the fun that happened this month.

I love fall. So does Ryan. So we try to make the best of it.

We carved these pumpkins while watching Corpse Bride and then Coraline. It was a beautiful end to what was actually a really rough day.

We took Romero family pictures, and so far this is all I have gotten out of it.

My family witches/wizards party was a fun themed night at my grandparents.

Ryan and I were BOB and LINDA from Bob's Burgers. It was a lot of fun for us to get in this costume. Bob's Burgers is just like a mind numbing show that helps me escape from real life's problems and I love it.

Tooth fairies were cleaning the teeth at work the day before Halloween. :)

There is nothing like some Stranger Things to make October even better than it already is!!

The end. Now I'm done with the spooky stuff and ready for some Holiday cheer.

Catching Up On Our Adventures

Oregon/California April 2017

I haven't written anything on the blog for a few months and I want to update!! Ryan and I went on a trip to the Redwoods in Northern California and then to Oregon for a week and it was really a special trip. It was both of our first times seeing the gigantic trees that only grow in a couple of places on Earth. It was also our first time visiting two small coastal towns in Oregon: Brookings and Klamath Falls.

Both of our Airbnb's turned out to be incredible. Our first spot in Klamath Falls was an apartment built above the garage of a cute red home. The inside was like a modern lodge accented with original art pieces of one of the home-owners. It was extremely cozy. Our place in Brookings was called "The Mermaid Suite" and that is EXACTLY what it was. This was probably the most unique home I have ever visited. The house itself was ocean themed. It was very large and being in it almost made me feel like I was in an Indiana Jones movie...just because it seemed like ancient artifacts were all over the place. The owners had a dog with bright green eyes that greeted us at the door and he turned out to be so much fun to see every time we came and went. The 'suit' portion of the house included a bathroom, bedroom, entertainment area, and a deck outside with a private hot tub. The best part? The ocean was right below our deck, with a lighthouse just yards from where we were.

We visited local restaurants, whale-watched, soaked up the ocean (with our eyes), and roamed the coastal hills.

Exploring the Oregon coast showed me a beauty in the world that I had never experienced before. I still think back to the trails we explored and feel breathless. It's the kind of thing that I really believe everybody should experience for themselves.

On our drives we listened to two books: Outliers and Into the Wild. I learned a lot from both, mostly coming to understand better certain truths that I already knew. I love reading but lately I have been listening to books in the car rather than reading at night in bed like I used to.

“...If you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the world to your desires.”

― Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers   

Bryce Canyon

March 2017

This weekend trip was brought to you by the -1 day- of "spring break" that BYU gives their students. I can't complain because one Friday off was enough for us to pack up and drive to this beautiful place for three days of camping and exploring. It had been so long that I had gone more than a night without makeup on that I honestly forgot how blonde by eyebrows are so that was weird.

We spent most of our time hiking around the middle of the park, because that's where all the most spectacular hoodoos are (those pillars of rock that stick up), and because the snow had some roads and trails closed off on the north and south ends of the park.

The blue sky next to the red rocks and snow was absolutely breath taking. The snow made the trails kind of slippery on some parts, but because it would freeze at night and then thaw out during the day, the snow had become super mixed with dirt and rocks, and the friction was like pavement on most of the icy/snowy areas.

I am SO white right now!! It seemed like my skin was whiter than the snow! I am always really white but just getting out of winter is a scary sight. I will always remember this as the weekend when we listened to Ender's Game on the road and went on the most beautiful loop hikes I've ever done.

Another Gym Monologue

Tonight I went to the gym and decided to spend over an hour on the elliptical. This is my exercise of choice when I am tired, or when I have just eaten a lot of crappy food that is still digesting. I had the resistance up so I could still get a work out, but not up enough that it was killing me. I watched my very first episode of Law and Order because that's what was on the TV in front of me. At first I was really annoyed because I don't like to watch dramas (there is enough drama in the real world as it is) but it ended up being totally interesting and actually kept me on the machine. But that is beside the point.

As I was on the elliptical trying to get in my workout for the day, I started thinking. What is my purpose for coming to the gym? Why do I get mad at myself for eating tons of processed food and then go on these green drink binges? What am I accomplishing? Is this healthy for my mind?

I used to exercise for me. I used to get up everyday EXCITED to get in my work out. I loved running that extra mile, and I loved going to the fitness classes my community offered. Exercise was a mental cleansing for me. It was therapeutic. I also loved the food I ate.  I loved my all natural pp&j sandwiches on whole wheat bread and my banana-spinach protein shakes. All of these things I did for myself.

But there has been a change in why I am exercising and trying to be healthy. I look on Facebook and Instagram at all these fitness gurus. I see their before's and after's. I look at girls who used to look just like I do right now, and then I see them now with six packs and slimmer, sexier looking bodies. I follow fitness blogs with weekly meal plans, exercise routines, tips on how to stay fit and not give up. And I am trying to be like them. I'm looking at myself in the mirror and feeling so disappointed in myself for not looking like them. It's ridiculous, because everybody knows that's a trap and I'm supposed to love my body the way it is. Even those fitness models say that they eat cake too and they aren't perfect either. And that is what keeps me following them, is that illusion of, "This is reality. I did this and so can you."

And yes, that is true to an extent. I know not too deep down I have a six pack too. And I know that the workouts and meal plans actually create results to those who follow them. But the thing is, those girls are not me. I mean, one of the people I have followed for months eats green beans with every meal. Gross. That is not something I want to do.

So after thinking over this and finishing my cool down on the elliptical, I went home and cried. I cried because I have been body shaming myself for so long now, and I didn't fully realize it. My exercise and lifestyle habits have turned from something wonderful and therapeutic into something harmful. I have been insecure in myself everyday. Not only insecure of my outward appearance, but of my inner self as well.

I needed that realization so I can get back to being healthy for me, and loving myself for who I am. That is literally the only way I will ever maintain a healthy lifestyle. I have now unfollowed all of those people whose job it is to be fit, happy, and healthy for the internet, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my back.

This isn't just about the way I look. It is about how I feel about who I am. I believe self love needs to come before I can progress in any way. And I feel like I can really start to love myself again.