Day 15.

When I first started doing this I wasn't planning to cut dairy because my main goal was to not need refined/ processed sugary foods to live.. and I'm not trying to starve myself. But I haven't had dairy since like day 2 so add that to the list of what I'm not eating right now! I feel good. I'm not craving sugar. It feels a lot more mental at this point. I miss sweet things because they are so dear to my heart and I can't have them in my life right now. But I don't NEED them.

This practice is really teaching me how much control I have over myself and my mentality.

Today I went to a restaurant and had a garden omelette that actually tasted amazing. Yes I am eating poultry. In fact poultry may be the thing keeping me going. I had the chance to see my amazing great grandmother and so of course I took it. It's really easy to order healthy and tasty when I go out. But the company was what really mattered. My great aunt, my mom, and my great grandma? I am so blessed!

Day 10.

It is the end of my 10th day of no sugar, no processed food, and no red meat or pork. It has been harder than the first 5 days. I have had moments where I want sugar so bad that I just feel miserable. But I am still going! I've actually lost 5 pounds at this point which is pretty cool. I needed dessert so bad tonight that I had to go to the store and buy pineapple for something, ANYTHING sweet. Most of my breakfasts have consisted of smoothies with a mix of strawberries, peaches, pineapple, blueberries, spinach, and whatever else I can come up with. I have been having some kind of grain for lunch like wheat bread or oats with peanut butter and/or wheat crackers with hummus. For dinner I've been doing chicken and some kind of veggie.

Oh! And I have been running one mile up and down hills and doing a 30 minute yoga session every day after work, and drinking plenty of water.

I'm feeling good, but it comes at a cost! Just tonight I had to turn down ice cream cake AND s'mores!!

It's a total trade-off, but I'm feeling a great sense of self control.

This is me Trying..

No Sugar. Day 5. 

I want to write every 5 days about how my "no sugar" experiment is going. It has been about 3 1/2 years since I have tried any kind of specific diet. I used to have food issues and get so upset with myself every time I ate something unhealthy, and I would constantly think about it and not be able to sleep if I thought I'd eaten too much that day. I got over all of that sometime in the last 6 months of my mission due to a lack of control in what I was fed, learning about what really matters in life, and finally letting go.

Since then I have still tried to maintain a good diet, eating lots of fruits and veggies and drinking tons of water. But I haven't cut anything out. I have kept everything on the table because I didn't want to be worrying all the time about what pop tarts or pizza were doing to my body.

I still don't want to worry so much about those things. I still want to be able to feel comfortable enough with myself to allow myself to enjoy food.

But. I am at a place right now where I feel ready to let myself be better. I feel ready and capable of replacing junk foods and quick fixes with holistic options, and to prepare my own food instead of going out all the time.

I don't want to depend on bad sugars and processed foods for my energy to live. I want to live at a higher state and have more self control!! So 5 days ago I decided I was going to cut out all sugar and processed foods. I love chocolate too much to keep this up forever, so I am just doing it for 30 days. But at the end of the 30 days I still want to replace junk food with better, homemade foods. There are so many holistic replacements for any kind of craving, and I want to get into the habit of choosing the better thing instead of the easy thing.

So far I have felt slightly fatigued, but mostly happy and in control. I've been eating plenty of delicious meals and snacks because just cutting out sugar and processed food  leaves room for other really great things!!

I'm also not eating red meat and pork, which is pretty typical of me to do when I am paying close attention to my health.

So here I am at the beginning of this journey, and I'm hoping to become more in control of myself and to gain a higher confidence and energy level because of it! 

Best Friends

I want to make a best friend tribute because my best friends have always meant so much to me, and life would be so sad without them!!

so let me take some space to tell you how amazing MY best friends are.

I'm going to talk about Sarah first. Because the true reason I am making this post is because I made a photo collage I was going to post for her birthday and then I forgot.....and I still want this picture to get onto the internet. So here she is: Sarah is the best friend anybody could ask for. Shoot. I'm going to say that about all of them. Oh well. She is the type of person who will do all she can to make you happy when you are down. She has been there for me through everything since 6th grade. She is a hoot and a half....she seriously makes me laugh so hard I could die. She will do all she can to show those around her that she cares. She is so creative and inspiring to anybody who truly knows her. She loves f.r.i.e.n.d.s (the show), her boyfriend Tanner, her family, decorating her new home, and making Puerto Rican food...or maybe just cooking in general...or maybe just cooking for people...I'm not sure.

Here is that pic I wanted to post... you can tell she is both gorgeous and fun! haha

Then we have Alyx. Alyx is the most genuine friend out there. I met her in 4th grade so we've had awhile to make memories and stuff... one of my all time favorite life memories has got to be staying up all night the summer before 9th grade.... just talking. We were absolutely miserable the next day from exhaustion but it was totally worth it. Alyx is hilarious. Period. She comes up with jokes on the spot before I've even completed a full thought about what is going on. She has also been there for me through everything. I've been able to tell her my deepest secrets in the past and she has always been so understanding and helpful towards my problems. Alyx is an amazing mother, she is also working on a newly purchased home, and she creates art that always turns out perfect somehow.

Last I have to talk about Michelle! I met Michelle on my mission, my first day in Chicago. She was my trainer and quickly became my best friend! We went through one of Chicago's worst winters together and somehow managed to come out with some incredible experiences and having had a lot of fun. She has always made me feel like I am better than I sometimes think I am, and I owe some of my best experiences to her... skydiving, blue bell ice cream in Texas, my first half marathon, ETC. She has always had my back, and I've never doubted that she cares about me. Michelle is a totally essential person in my life, because we share so many of the same beliefs and standards in life. She just GETS ME. She is one of the most active people I know. She is a hiker, mountain biker, she loves adventures and going to new heights in life.

There are so many other people that shape and influence my life for the better, how can I not be just so thankful?? I have the greatest people in my life!!

*Here is a video Sarah, Alyx and I made a few months ago for Alyx's YouTube channel*

My 21 Core Values

I was recently asked to write down 21 core values that I possess. Things I would want to pass down to my future children.. I'm obviously not perfect and don't wear all of these traits on my sleeve in each moment of my life, but these are the things I strive to be, and that I feel are most important. Core values should guide each decision we make, and when we live them, it is so much more difficult to become lost or make a choice that is deeply hard to come back from. This is the kind of person I want to be.

1. Honesty - own my messes and never pretend to be something I'm not.
2. Kind-heartedness - be kind ALWAYS. Never put another person down, only build them up.
3. Individuality - be myself. Be true to who I am and don't be afraid to give what I have to offer to the world.
4. Faith - pray, fast, read my scriptures. Have a consistent relationship with God. More than anything recognize that I don't have all the answers, and have FAITH that there is someone out there who has my back.
5. Obedience - be obedient to the commandments that bless my life.
6. Family centered - keep my family at the center of my heart. Show them I care.
7. Good work ethic - do my best in whatever job I am doing. Be positive and make a difference.
8. Health - manage my health by eating many colors of things that grow from the ground. Drink water and don't over do it with the junk.
9. Being active - run, do yoga, lift with Ryan, hike, play.
10. Sticking through with important things - never give up on something good just because it is difficult in the moment. See it through to the end.
11. Creativity - think of new ideas, try and create something new.
12. Humor - be able to laugh at myself and enjoy the funny things in life.
13. Fun - have fun with my friends and my husband. Enjoy my free time.
14. Firmness in standards - never falter from what I know is right. Stand up for myself and others.
15. Service to others - do things to make somebody else's day better. Don't expect anything in return, just do it because I want to.
16. Being able to see the beauty in life - find the beauty in old things, in seemingly unwanted situations, and especially in the earth God created and in others.
17. Humility - have a humble heart and recognize that everything I have comes from God. Thank others for their help and never put myself above anyone else.
18. Patience - stay calm in hard moments. Be patient with myself. Also with those around me.
19. Good friend - do things to show my friends I care. Spend time for them.
20. Loyalty - always stay true to my husband, to my family, my friends, my Heavenly Father, and to myself.
21. Adventurous - be willing to try new things and go to new places and to new heights.

The Honey Moon

Our first trip as a married couple 

*The Highlights*

1. Park City. 

We spend our first two nights at a resort in Park City called the Whyndom. During our only full day we had there, we decided to go see a movie Ryan had been dying to see called Hunt for the Wilderpeople. It is directed by a man named Taika Waititi, who worked on some episodes of Flight of the Conchords (one of our favorite tv series) and directed What We Do in the Shadows (this hilarious movie about vampires). He also directed this other movie, Boy, that we had just recently seen. Oh, I should also say that this guy is from New Zealand and Ryan and I have been on a huge "we want to live in New Zealand" kick. 

Annnnyyyywayyy, we go see this movie, which is only playing in two theaters in Utah by the way, and it turns out to be one of the best movies ever made. I am telling you, this is WAY better than any movie being advertised right now. It's hilarious, heart warming, has a great plot, and has super fun accents throughout the whole film. Go see it. That's all I have to say about that. 

2. Jackson Hole, WY.

The rest of our trip mostly took place in Jackson. The first 2 days in Jackson we went river rafting down Snake River (Ryan got sunburned here), kayaking in our little kayak at Jackson lake (I got sunburned here), and stayed in a tent cabin at Colter Bay. 

3. Yellowstone.

On our 3rd day in Jackson we decided it would be fun to take a trip up to Yellowstone for the afternoon. We got to see Old Faithful and other geysers and pools they have around the south end of the park. We chose the perfect time to go, because not two days later the road to Yellowstone got closed off because of a wild fire. We saw part of the fire driving back to Jackson that night. It was pretty terrifying watching hundreds of trees up in flames in the distance. 

4. Jenny Lake.

Our last destination was Jenny Lake camp ground in Jackson. It is a camping area very close to the Tetons and it's very beautiful. I'm going to be honest, through all the beauty and relaxation I wasn't able to kick this worry of bears coming around at any given moment. The camp director gave everyone who entered camp this big speech about bears and how they like coming through the area all the time. "Don't leave food out. Even toothpaste can attract them. Change out of your clothes after you cook, they can smell the grease on you. You never know when a bear might show up. You could be doing everything right and it will still come around." My fear was in total vain though, because there was no site of any bears at all.

We spent this time relaxing in our hammock, swimming in Jenny Lake, playing Speed, sleeping in our awesome tent that we are both in love with, and eating delicious dutch oven meals (that I was always worried a bear would smell). We also made a couple stops in the town of Jackson to eat and shop around. We had a super yummy chimichanga at this place called Merry Piglets. And we watched a spontaneous town shoot-out performance. 

 

Ryan says, "Yeah it was fun."

So there ya go!

It's Been Awhile

The year is TWO THOUSAND AND SIXTEEN.

I haven't written in this blog pretty must at all since I went on a mission. I tried writing again when I got home but things were weird and I didn't know how to be normal anymore...

And now here we are.

Where have I been????????

Um, well, first of all, I love writing. I think about doing it all the time. So I guess I love to think about writing.

Second, I'm incredibly annoyed about the fact that my blog has a huge TIME GAP in it, and it is for that reason that I have entirely neglected yet so often thought about posting anything in over a year since I came home.

But guess what, I am going to get over that RIGHT NOW.

Yes I have tried starting other blogs. I couldn't get the format looking how I wanted, and yes that means I couldn't possibly write anything. It has to look right.

So here I am, back again. I'm not switching to word press because I don't want to pay money to have an online journal even though it might look like way cool or whatever... I mean, maybe some day I'll get one of those going.

So here I am about to actually commit to a post. Wow. Here I go.

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I just need to write down that I truly believe that nothing worth having ever comes easy. I was looking at the formals that Ryan and I got done before our wedding and it really just hit me for the first time in months. The fact that he and I are getting married is actually kind of a miracle.

I mean seriously. We had a long distance relationship to start out with. Me being at SUU and him at BYU. We saw each other on weekends sometimes. We talked on the phone, texted, and skyped a lot.

Then he went and served a mission about 8 months later. I didn't see him for almost 3 years! Why? Because halfway through his mission I decided I wanted to go serve one too! So we communicated purely through letters and emails for all that time.. with calls on Christmas for about 25 minutes a piece.

Then on top of that, I come home from my mission and I'm like, woah, this is too much. I'm freaking out just about being back in the real world. I can't handle having a boyfriend! I loved him so much it honestly hurt. I just wasn't ready, and frankly neither was he. So let's add more time apart to this journey, 6 months to be exact. We spent 6 months dating other people, being with ourselves, figuring out what we wanted.

Then around Christmas time of 2015, we are ready. We decide we want to be fully committed to each other again. We have a blast of a Christmas break (mostly watching Flight of the Conchords and eating peppermint ice cream), and the rest is history.

Now almost 9 months later, here we are, engaged, happy, feeling great about life and each other.

Getting to this place wasn't easy. There were times when he was on his mission where I would just cry because I missed him so much. And when I was on mine I'd wonder where he was and if we'd ever really end up together. I questioned things. I looked at other options. Why? Because I was only a month shy of 19 when we parted ways the first time and I'm only 23 now. I am young. I feel young. I've never been one to jump into big decisions, and this has been my path thus far.

Ryan is my best friend and my soul mate.