I haven't written in this blog pretty must at all since I went on a mission. I tried writing again when I got home but things were weird and I didn't know how to be normal anymore...
And now here we are.
Where have I been????????
Um, well, first of all, I love writing. I think about doing it all the time. So I guess I love to think about writing.
Second, I'm incredibly annoyed about the fact that my blog has a huge TIME GAP in it, and it is for that reason that I have entirely neglected yet so often thought about posting anything in over a year since I came home.
But guess what, I am going to get over that RIGHT NOW.
Yes I have tried starting other blogs. I couldn't get the format looking how I wanted, and yes that means I couldn't possibly write anything. It has to look right.
So here I am, back again. I'm not switching to word press because I don't want to pay money to have an online journal even though it might look like way cool or whatever... I mean, maybe some day I'll get one of those going.
So here I am about to actually commit to a post. Wow. Here I go.
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I just need to write down that I truly believe that nothing worth having ever comes easy. I was looking at the formals that Ryan and I got done before our wedding and it really just hit me for the first time in months. The fact that he and I are getting married is actually kind of a miracle.
I mean seriously. We had a long distance relationship to start out with. Me being at SUU and him at BYU. We saw each other on weekends sometimes. We talked on the phone, texted, and skyped a lot.
Then he went and served a mission about 8 months later. I didn't see him for almost 3 years! Why? Because halfway through his mission I decided I wanted to go serve one too! So we communicated purely through letters and emails for all that time.. with calls on Christmas for about 25 minutes a piece.
Then on top of that, I come home from my mission and I'm like, woah, this is too much. I'm freaking out just about being back in the real world. I can't handle having a boyfriend! I loved him so much it honestly hurt. I just wasn't ready, and frankly neither was he. So let's add more time apart to this journey, 6 months to be exact. We spent 6 months dating other people, being with ourselves, figuring out what we wanted.
Then around Christmas time of 2015, we are ready. We decide we want to be fully committed to each other again. We have a blast of a Christmas break (mostly watching Flight of the Conchords and eating peppermint ice cream), and the rest is history.
Now almost 9 months later, here we are, engaged, happy, feeling great about life and each other.
Getting to this place wasn't easy. There were times when he was on his mission where I would just cry because I missed him so much. And when I was on mine I'd wonder where he was and if we'd ever really end up together. I questioned things. I looked at other options. Why? Because I was only a month shy of 19 when we parted ways the first time and I'm only 23 now. I am young. I feel young. I've never been one to jump into big decisions, and this has been my path thus far.
Ryan is my best friend and my soul mate.
