the new season, the new ambitions,

 the month of November brings along with it the most magical of events. the Ready Set concert....oh drool oh drool. harry potter and the deathly hallows part one...no words, only emotions. and thanksgiving in new mexico? brilliant. the new hair cut will bring freshness, and my endurance is sky rocketing this month. i'm on top of life. i control it entirely, and i can't wait for the new experiences. time to become that snowboarding champ i dream of and to stay on my path always.

Interpretation of Gray

A perfect world
The kind Tim Burton and Henry Selick Create
Doors leading to other worlds
This feeling I’ll try to ablaqueate

I feel at home in the cold and gray
It contrasts the grass and buildings classically
The scent of mint leaves is why I think of tea
Where I am isn’t captured photographically

How can you walk away from something and then come back?
Walk around the world
In gray I would like to, find the love of my life
That plan will refuse to be soiled

Gray is Coraline, Victor Van Dort, and Edward
Magnificently creepy and beautiful life
Clay-mation and short sketches expand on reality
Switch divinity from strife

Halloween Weekend

happy halloween.

i plan on wearing this costume today, just like yesterday, and tomorrow.

tonight i'm going to p a r t y with my girls
and tomorrow i'm watching all my favorite movies,
hopefully making halloween treats.
j'adore halloween

i have the thoughts, i have the mind, it works rather well.
what i'm lacking is the words, the actual communication
it's there, i feel it, i understand it until i try to explain
when i try to explain it gets fuzzy and weird
like it's no longer a complete thought, now i've confused myself.
i thank god for the people who take my thoughts and speak them to me clearly
they don't know me but they know themselves, and a part of us agrees
they say it, what is in my mind but never on paper
they put it on that paper and say it to who listens
it's so personal
spiritual for me
eff mrs brown and her babble
i'll take that cup of tea
the intellect i've heard vibrates through my muscles
i should analyze a dictionary
speak that other language
comprehend more than happy and sad
though simplicity is a brilliant thing
these subjects take that word and multiply the letters
until they infest the souls of all humans

October
automne
leaves falling crunching
like in fifth grade and in my front yard
autumn is the reason for the season
that expression doesn't even work in this case
i don't care, l'automne est la raison de la saison
i'm going to write a french song and use that line, i'll sound cultured and oh so clever

oh and the best part? gives my favorite movies and sketches a good atmosphere for viewing 

mitchell davis.
oh how i wish you were mine.

a long time ago, everything was fresh. nothing was old news, because even the old things were exciting and full of magic. this feeling of freshness was only in one girl's perspective, as she was new to the world. her life was an empty book put simply. she could, and did, imagine and make up whatever she wanted to. the pages would be temporarily written on, until she changed her mind or thought of greater ways of spashing her life together. everyone was good and everything was pure. it took very little to make her happy. she didn't wonder about the future, because that was a job for her grown up self. the lady who had lost all ability and interest in pretending, the one whose pages were being heavily filled with ink, the girl who didn't feel the curiosity. because now, everything is old news.

i wish i could stop painful feelings of betrayal and loss. i wish i could feel the way i felt before i missed the shots i had. i wish he hadn't been so munipulative, and i wish i had known how to handle my anger. i wish i could go back and undo my brutal words. i wish he would do the same. i wish i didn't have to change my mind so often because you can't take back what you say. i wish it were easier to forgive but more i wish there was nothing to forgive. i wish i still felt whole, and i wish i knew what i should do about it, whatever it is. it is my anger, sadness, and confusion. i really, really wish i had a solid ground to walk on.