Lennyx

A Way to Have it all at Once..
I wish I knew one. It is a fact that every time something new and awesome comes into my life, something I care about fades away. WHY?! Why can't I have all my good friends, all my academics going for me, all the good times, the time to run.. all at once? Why do I have to sacrifice one relationship for another? Of course it isn't like, "K, if we're going to be friends and hang out all the time I'm going to have to end it all with this other person". It just happens. It is absolutely mind blowing the people who still walk this Earth that are dead in my life. That is not right! It drives me crazy. For example, just a few months ago I was so content with mine and Jake's relationship. He would call me with his problems or just to talk. We could just talk all the time. Then there are Brandon and Mike. We would meet up in the daytime and separate at seven the next morning. Everyday I could just drive to one of their houses and we would just do whatever. Even more recent was Brecken. We have had such good times! We were having fun; we were rebuilding our friendship. Then boom...all gone. Those are only a few examples. It happens with all of my best girl friends, who luckily always come back into my life. I embrace change but in these ways I resent it. I try to live by simplicity and contradictions like this do not promote that mindset.
Time is just not at my side sometimes. I want the days to be long enough for me to complete everything by the time the sun goes down. I want to get homework done early, do my job(s), and still have time to be with my friends. Until graduation I will have a narrow social life. I have school, work, my internship, and community service. So right now it's work and homework. I want my relationships back. I want things. I want to do things. SO many things. I want to perfect areas in my life and then keep them that way. I just want to be able to have it all at once.