Words don't have the capacity to describe the feeling. It sounds like...Fader by The Temper Trap...or Taxi Cab by Vampire Weekend. I am really loving this. I want the future to keep it for me. Music sounds better and I'm happy to be tired.
Brilliant.
It is apparent I am not sleeping tonight and that means time for blogging. I don't know what to say. Monday nights are not the time for me to be kept up. Work and other work should be awesome tomorrow. It is absolutely insane to me how things are. In these three years, I have been so myself, with my moments of collapse so brief and, for me, assuring of what I don't want in life. End of thought.
Leave me hanging one more time.
It is apparent I am not sleeping tonight and that means time for blogging. I don't know what to say. Monday nights are not the time for me to be kept up. Work and other work should be awesome tomorrow. It is absolutely insane to me how things are. In these three years, I have been so myself, with my moments of collapse so brief and, for me, assuring of what I don't want in life. End of thought.
"And so I stayed up all night
Slept in all day, this is my sound
Thinking about tomorrow
Won't change how I feel today"
Slept in all day, this is my sound
Thinking about tomorrow
Won't change how I feel today"
Leave me hanging one more time.
leave me hanging one more time.
"I dreamed that, as I wandered by the way,
Bare Winter suddenly was changed to Spring,
And gentle odours led my steps astray,
Mixed with a sound of waters murmuring"
And gentle odours led my steps astray,
Mixed with a sound of waters murmuring"
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
i don't feel bad for you.
not the slightest, slightest bit.
i don't feel the opposite.
because that would mean i feel happy for you?
it's funny because you won't know this is about you.
i don't know why i am feeling the way i am.
first of all, i got over my bitterness.
my wounds have healed.
i think i feel this way because
you got it easy..
you don't know how it could have ended.
i don't wish what happened to me upon you.
but the fact that it happened and i felt it
makes me upset.
you don't know what it feels like.
that's why i feel this way.
i don't feel sorry for you.
you won't know this is about you.
which is i guess a good thing.
not the slightest, slightest bit.
i don't feel the opposite.
because that would mean i feel happy for you?
it's funny because you won't know this is about you.
i don't know why i am feeling the way i am.
first of all, i got over my bitterness.
my wounds have healed.
i think i feel this way because
you got it easy..
you don't know how it could have ended.
i don't wish what happened to me upon you.
but the fact that it happened and i felt it
makes me upset.
you don't know what it feels like.
that's why i feel this way.
i don't feel sorry for you.
you won't know this is about you.
which is i guess a good thing.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Some people are attractive and they just can't help it. Of course I'm talking about what is attractive to me. I'm so grateful for diversity. If there was none... and everyone was exactly like me.. we would be living in teepee's. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad. But anyway, what is attractive to me? I think boys who are like me but have intelligence that I don't, knowledge of things I'm unaware of, and have all those boy qualities that I lack. I'm attracted to ambitious and self confident guys. I have made a list of desirable traits.. I'm so weird. But here let me share them with the world:
Irresistible
Passionate
Smart
Independent
Open minded
Prepared for his future
Surprising
Into the outdoor stuff that I am
Skilled in his hobbies
Healthy
Clean
yada,yada,yada.
Irresistible
Passionate
Smart
Independent
Open minded
Prepared for his future
Surprising
Into the outdoor stuff that I am
Skilled in his hobbies
Healthy
Clean
yada,yada,yada.
I’m in love alright with my crazy beautiful life
guess it worked out,
(This song makes me happy)
But I'm waiting for my Liz Phair moment.
I want my breath to be taken away..
My Sixpence None the Richer moment.
like beside the green green grass.
Here is the milky twilight..
Where is the boy?
I want to be accidentally in love.
Right now... Keri Hilson says it all.
I'm so very fly, oh my, it's a little bit scary<333
guess it worked out,
(This song makes me happy)
But I'm waiting for my Liz Phair moment.
I want my breath to be taken away..
My Sixpence None the Richer moment.
like beside the green green grass.
Here is the milky twilight..
Where is the boy?
I want to be accidentally in love.
Right now... Keri Hilson says it all.
I'm so very fly, oh my, it's a little bit scary<333
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Someone shoot me. I won't die because my cold won't let me do anything I want to do. As a result of my condition, I will type the snippets of thoughts I have tonight. I can't sleep because I can't breath. And as much as I love not being able to hear, taste, or talk.....I am drowning in my own self pity. Some nights I just think of awesome things I have the capacity to do, but I don't turn them into reality. Tonight it was because I had work and am sick. I'll save the day dream for another day. One thing that has definitely been taking over my brain is the question of why some people cannot be single for more than a week. They choose to have countless relationships and somehow get the idea that each one is the real thing. They center their lives around one person...and don't seem to get anywhere...ever. It doesn't seem healthy to me. Cycles aren't paths, they are traps. I don't find clinging to be healthy. New subject! Is it weird that I have Lights' video blogs practically memorized? It's only because I seriously enjoy some of her background music. Once again, she's the most amazing person ever. I would give anything to meet her. I don't think there's anything I wouldn't skip out on if the opportunity came. I just connected some thoughts. I've been reading about stuff like Buddhism and Taoism lately, and I have had a problem with one of the ideas in Buddhism. They say that ambition and passion is not necessary. Like you should cut out all the garbage, but that too? There is a difference between being passionate and being clingy. You know? Passion doesn't fog your mind, it inspires you. That's why, I guess, I favor Taoism. It is about balance, clarity of purpose and of mind, realization. Now that my cold is seriously starting to hurt, I think I might try to go to bed. I should note that I am grateful for my health. However much I exaggerate my state, I'm lucky to feel the way I do. Health is everything. I hope Cory is feeling okay. I can't wait until he's cured and is back to his old lifestyle.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
What if.
My college roommate
Is a thief?
Has bad hygiene?
Never goes to bed?
Talks on the phone late at night?
Leaves her stuff on the floor?
Completely ignores me?
Smokes and smells strongly of that must?
Tries to murder me?
Is a raver?
.............College please be good to me.
My college roommate
Is a thief?
Has bad hygiene?
Never goes to bed?
Talks on the phone late at night?
Leaves her stuff on the floor?
Completely ignores me?
Smokes and smells strongly of that must?
Tries to murder me?
Is a raver?
.............College please be good to me.
Stressed out of my mind.
I have a work schedule to obligate
An externship to complete
U's to work off
Homework to catch up on
No gas in my car
And my parents aren't on my page
Right now I'm not at school, which was not my initial plan. I woke up ready to be there by 7:15 to work off a U. Then I remembered I didn't have gas and I forgot to ask for money from my parents. Oh my gosh, I need to be prepared in life. So luckily it's an A day, which are complete wastes of time. I'm working on my Humanities journal and hopefully I can get a ride to Dental. As long as I'm here, I'll use my time wisely. Which means I'm done blogging. Goodbye bloggg. .... . ...
And here's an expanse on what I just wrote a few minutes ago. I am now caught up with Humanities and have a ride to Dental. After class, I am working off a U and then heading to the Rec. I will have somebody take me home where I will work on Government and read a little. I know that by June 3rd EVERYTHING I listed as my stresses will be taken care of. Everything is fine.
I have a work schedule to obligate
An externship to complete
U's to work off
Homework to catch up on
No gas in my car
And my parents aren't on my page
Right now I'm not at school, which was not my initial plan. I woke up ready to be there by 7:15 to work off a U. Then I remembered I didn't have gas and I forgot to ask for money from my parents. Oh my gosh, I need to be prepared in life. So luckily it's an A day, which are complete wastes of time. I'm working on my Humanities journal and hopefully I can get a ride to Dental. As long as I'm here, I'll use my time wisely. Which means I'm done blogging. Goodbye bloggg. .... . ...
And here's an expanse on what I just wrote a few minutes ago. I am now caught up with Humanities and have a ride to Dental. After class, I am working off a U and then heading to the Rec. I will have somebody take me home where I will work on Government and read a little. I know that by June 3rd EVERYTHING I listed as my stresses will be taken care of. Everything is fine.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)