Thirty Before Thirty

This has been the year of podcast listening for me. I have learned so much through listening to people like Jody Moore and Monica Packer, who help others to become their best selves through gaining a knowledge of where our thoughts come from and how they shape our lives.

My favorite podcasts so far are, in this order: Better Than Happy, About Progress, and The Doctor's Farmacy (Yes, FARMacy). I've been more than consumed with those podcasts these last several months and haven't yet added more to my list, but I will!

I recently listened to one of the About Progress episodes where Monica talked about making a list of 30 things you want to accomplish before turning 30. I felt like this would be such a great thing for me to make, because I will be 30 in FIVE YEARS. Okay, more like 5 and a half. I have been going through a strange period where I have suddenly accomplished many of my life goals and now is a great time to re-evaluate and make new goals for myself.

Before now most of my big life goals were made many, many years ago. I was probably between the ages of 12-13 when I came up with them. I decided I would one day run a marathon, which I did last year, and then again this year. I told myself I would visit France one day, which I did this year. I decided I'd go skydiving, which I did 3 years ago. I said I'd get married to a beautiful and good man, which I did two years ago! In high school I added meeting my favorite musician, Lights, to that list. I finally got to meet her this year in February. I have also always wanted to be fluent in a second language. I always thought it would be French, but turns out the Universe wanted me to speak Spanish. So I'll give myself a check on that goal as well.

Finishing my 1st and 2nd Marathons

Meeting Lights before her show. This was the 3rd time I have seen her in concert and the second time with my friend Hailey. :)

In college I created some meaningful and refining life goals for myself. I decided exactly which man I was going to marry. In my journal in September of 2011 I wrote, "There is someone who shares my dreams and adores me as much as I adore him. We have equal values and different strengths. I feel at home with him, and when he is not there I am often reminded of him by something like a song or smell. ...Time will uncover in these next two or three years if we are meant to be. When I am with Ryan I like who I am. With him, life is refreshing and comfortable. I know we could make a great couple for life." 

Then in October of 2012, while Ryan was on his mission, I wrote down my life goals. They were:

 1. Marry Ryan

2. Run a marathon

3. See the world

4. Help people everywhere I go

5. Get a college degree

6. Have children

7. Be the best wife/mom

8. Keep family and friends close

9. Design and build my own house

10. Be giving, be bright, be helpful

Then at the end of 2012, I had a new life-changing goal practically placed in front of me. President Thomas S. Monson announced that girls could now serve a mission at the age of 19. I had never wanted to serve a mission or even thought about it. Even when it was announced I didn't feel like it related to me at all. I was just barely becoming an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I was busy waiting for a missionary of my own.

I don't know why I never wrote down my experience of how I chose to serve a mission. It is one of the most special experiences I have ever had. At some point during the fall, I ran into my aunt and uncle at Whole Foods. They brought up that they were going to England in December to be with their family who lives there. They casually invited me to come and I excitedly accepted the invitation. That trip is what changed my mind completely. My aunt Anna and her husband Chris had met on their missions to Scotland. They talked a little bit about their mission experiences and I could see clearly how their decisions to serve were blessing their current lives and family. 

While in England, my uncle's father asked me why I wouldn't serve a mission. I realized I didn't have a good answer. Then on Christmas Eve, after praying to God and asking if I should serve, I had a dream that I was a missionary serving at the Visitor's Center in London. I was talking to a stranger in my dream and I felt a love for that stranger that I hadn't felt before. When I woke up on Christmas day I knew what I was going to do. I was going to serve a full-time mission. I told Anna that morning and tried not to cry, but I probably did. Then after opening gifts in the Hotel, I got to talk to Ryan on a 3-way call with his family. I told him my decision and he was thrilled.

That all happened in December of 2012, and in September of 2013, I went on my mission to Chicago Illinois. I served Spanish speaking and was lucky enough to be taught in the Mexico Missionary Training Center for 6 weeks before going to Chicago. That choice has shaped my life in so many ways. I can't even imagine never having served. It was honestly and truly one of the best and most important things I have ever done.

It is also probably the most documented period of my life, though not on this blog.

Okay. So now that I have listed all of my previous goals, it is time to create a new list. It should be pointed out that there are still some goals I made in years before that I haven't achieved yet. I do not have a college degree and I don't have any children. I also haven't "seen the world", only some parts of it. And I have yet to design and build my own house. 

I don't plan on seeing the entire world in the next five years, but definitely parts of it. Building my own house probably won't come until after I turn 30, which I am totally okay with. I am in no rush at all to buy and establish a forever home with my family. I'd actually consider it more of an accomplishment if we can live in small, inexpensive places, for as long as possible.

This is my list of things (big and small) that I want to do before I turn 30.

1. Visit New Zealand with Ryan for hiking and site seeing. Stay for at least two weeks.

2.  Go one month of doing some kind of meal preparation each Sunday night.

3. Receive a bachelor's degree.

4. Increase my Spanish language knowledge by minoring in it, or at least taking a Spanish class each semester. Also, talk to my Spanish speaking relatives in the language when I am with them.

5. Live outside of Utah.

6. Remake my workout routine and attend classes where other people go, instead of always exercising alone.

7. Have a job working with youth in a mentoring position.

8. Visit Scotland and Ireland.

9. Learn more about my own family history so that visiting Scotland may be more meaningful.

10. Go and visit my Granny Dee while she is playing piano downtown.

11. Make each place I live into a home.

12. Read the Book of Mormon beginning to end with a study theme in mind like I did as a missionary.

13. Read the New Testament beginning to end in Spanish.

14. Make time to hang out with each of my siblings.

15. Go on a girls trip. Make it happen.

16. Take Trinity out on sister dates.

17. Dress up for Halloween.

18. Surprise Ryan with something once a month.

19. Practice taking charge of my thoughts and emotions after listening to Jody Moore tell me how.

20. Go all in on the things I say I am going to do. This means fully committing to church callings, my job, etc.

21. Compliment those around me instead of criticizing.

22. Run another marathon in under 4 hours 30 minutes.

23. Go back to where I served my mission in Chicago and visit Atlanta where Ryan served his.

24. Choose to believe in God and the goodness of people.

25. Road trip along the west coast.

26. Have at least one baby with Ryan.

27. Own a pet.

28. Pay off all my student loan debt and my car.

29. Take notice of the things people like. Write those things down for gift ideas. Especially for Ryan. Also for myself.

30. Grow my hair out long again.

The end.

Autumn is Here

An Excerpt Into The Past

I was once a writer... as in there was a time when I wrote down my thoughts in creative ways.

I feel that I was extremely self-centered when I was in high school and highly naive, but my selfishness brought out a desire to express myself in a creative way that I still feel proud of today. I used to write things down, sometimes poetically, to offer insight for myself and others about what was going on inside of me. Some of my writing is hard to read because it reflects deep sadness and a non-awareness of the role of grace in my life. But most of it is fun to read and takes me right back to what it was like to be me once upon a time.

I was going through this blog to find old Fall photos and I found this little diddy I wrote about the seasons back in 2010. I edited a few of the lines so that it would make more sense. I could tell I had originally just written it down as it came to me and never made any changes. Here it is. Preface: I had a thing for not capitalizing any letters when it came to my own writing.

12/26/2010

my favorite season is fall because of the colors. and because halloween happens in the fall time. i love the leaves in the canyons and on the ground. i love the perfect excuse for tea and the transformation everyone can feel going on. i love the atmosphere it gives for viewing my favorite movies, which are mostly gray and twisted. my favorite season is winter because of the snow. also because of the desire it brings for a warm fireplace. most of my fantasies are thought up in the winter. going down town with that boy and coming back home to watch the snow and dance around in it afterward …sigh. i love the spirit and the seasonal movies like santa clause is coming to town and all the classics. i love snowboarding snowboarding snowboarding. my favorite season is spring because of the warmth. i love the fresh mornings and the memories i can re-live of waking up to the sound of the train at five am when i would sleep at my grandma’s. i love the flowers and being reminded of the color green again. i love the state of comfort at school and the rainy days. my favorite season is summer because of the fun. i love the pool and the lake. i love the trip to california and the sand getting in the crevices of my camera every time. i love sitting in the street barefoot and still feeling clean. i love liberty park and the excessive excuses for fireworks. i love the concerts and the snow cones. i love the new possibility of every day. every season is the best season (: 

Paris and Beyond

It is time to reflect on our vacations to Spain, France, and New York. We went to Europe in May and then to New York in August. I feel very grateful to have experienced these places. I had never considered visiting Spain before we bought the tickets, but I am so glad we went. It is a BEAUTIFUL country with kind people. France has been a dream trip for me since 7th grade so making it a reality was huge for me. New York was an adventure and I loved finally getting to visit the East coast of my own country.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been dealing with some anxiety for the last year and a half, so traveling across the world was somewhat hard for me to do. I started therapy in March and went regularly until we left for Spain in May. Therapy helped me to learn new ways of thinking and offered me tools for conquering the issues that were always coming up in my mind. Flying on airplanes and staying in unfamiliar places were hurdles for me and I still had fears about doing those things, but I did it and I enjoyed it. Well, I didn't enjoy the flights. I enjoyed our stay in Europe and learned to trust people, which is something I've really struggled doing in recent years. Since I'm on the subject of anxiety I will say that the more planes I've had to get on this year, the easier it has gotten. I have learned to relax and think in new ways, and I don't assume I am going to die all the time anymore. I have been taking back control over my thoughts. I am doing this for me. But I also don't want to be a wife that is always being stressful on airplanes. I don't want to freak out Ryan. Honestly when I'm on a plane and I feel like letting my brain run wild, thinking of how that affects Ryan's experience helps me to calm down and use the tools I have to feel and do better.

Anyway, the people of Spain were very friendly and very beautiful. So were the people of France. So many people say that French people are rude to Americans, but that was not my experience. I truly believe that if you go into a situation assuming that people are good-natured and not out to get you, you will see that it is usually the case. I chose to speak as much Spanish and French as I was capable of, and maybe that helped too. I tried connecting as much as I could with my surroundings.

My favorite Airbnb that we had was in Paris. It was down the street from the Moulin Rouge and was a CLOSET inside an apartment building. The view outside our window was of classic Parisian architecture. There were gray walls creating a courtyard down below, where flowers were in bloom all around. We watched Ratatouille at night to see if Pixar's rendition of Paris was correct. It was- except the movie left out all the trash on the streets and all the people. In the movie, there were usually one or two people walking along the cobblestone streets. AS IF! Paris is crowded af. 

Going to the top of the Tour Eiffel was one of my favorite experiences. I had never actually planned to do that because elevators are terrifying and being inside a tall tower with heaps of people doesn't seem like a good time. But it turned out to be incredible. I loved every second of it. My original plan for going to France was to just wander around aimlessly, but Ryan made sure we actually went and did things. For that I am grateful.

Here is my video of the trip. 

We went to New York City for our two year anniversary this August. We were lucky to be able to stay with Ryan's friend in Manhattan. It was another dream come true. Museums, Broadway, the Hudson boat tour, Timesquare, Central Park, bakeries, new people, and new memories.

What I love about New York is that it is exactly what people make it out to be. There is no pretense there.

This is a low resolution clip of our bike ride around Central Park. One of the highlights of our anniversary trip.

Wicked was truly a dream come true for me. It was an incredible show. We also got to see The Phantom of the Opera. 

I didn't like Timesquare very much. Not until it was late at night and it was raining. There was something magical about it then.

We went to a Yankees game! Ryan always wants to see a baseball game when we visit a new state.

When I think of New York, I think of Sesame Street. The movement of the statue on the fountain reminded me of Sesame Street.

The Museum of Modern Art and The MET were incredible, but The American Museum of Natural History was my personal favorite. Sure, everything we saw were models and not the real bones of dinosaurs or ancient beings, but I had so much fun there. First of all, we walked in the wrong door and somehow found ourselves in an exhibit without having tickets (totally by accident I swear). And then I got to bask in the wonder of learning about neanderthals and our gazillion year old planet. It was just an excellent morning in an air-conditioned building full of history and amazing discoveries.

This pastrami sandwich had been pre-meditated for months before we actually got to New York. Ryan saw Jerry Seinfeld and Jim Gaffigan eating it on an episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. Honestly, I think this sandwich may have been the reason we went on this trip. Ryan just HAD to try it. He loved it. It's just a fact that if a sandwich costs almost $30 it

 means it's a good one. This kosher restaurant was a fun experience. 

Our night on the Hudson was one for the books.

Again, I am grateful. I know I am lucky to be able to go to new places and do things just for the fun of it. Now I am dreaming of the day I can head back to where I served a mission in Chicago and visit Ryan's mission in Georgia. I also reguarly day dream about going back to the Oregon coast. There is so much exploring to be done.

Christmas Time

Christmas Eve Sunday

I recorded Christmas this year, which may have been annoying or weird for some people. But I thought it was a fun little project. It was also the last Christmas Ryan got to have in his childhood home so I wanted to get some of that on camera.

After Christmas Ryan and I headed to Lava Hot Springs for a New Year's adventure. It was a peaceful weekend in cold and lovely Idaho.