-Groundhog Day
Photo taken in Minnesota on the drive to a Hockey game
Thoughts From the Most Depressing Time of Year
My life is quite cyclical, and February tends to be a low time of year for me. I really try to enjoy the wintertime, but something about it just leaves me feeling empty by the end. I have such a complex these days with my own feelings because I have become a loyal follower and fan of life coaches like Jody Moore, who teach that we are in charge of our brains. So when I say that something MAKES me feel a certain way, another part of me thinks, no Lennyx, you are CHOOSING to feel this way based on the thoughts you are holding onto.
I can pinpoint certain daily habits that are not serving me that could be leading me into depression and anxiety, like my over-consumption of sugar. Usually it's food that I'm not even hungry for, I'm just using it as a buffer to fill the void. I also have been staying up late and waking up with little time for myself before I rush to work. Then on the days that I choose not to go to the gym I'm basically not even giving my body a chance to build up dopamine and other happy brain chemicals to give me motivation in life. And there's also the fact that I've watched several documentaries on sex trafficking in the USA and other countries in the last week. I want to be educated, but sometimes I really over-do it and consume more of the dark side of humanity than I can handle.
But regardless of my behaviors, I know the season has something major to do with the way I'm feeling. I know this because last February I went to my doctor to talk to him about my anxiety and how it was at an all time high. I didn't really want to try any more medications (to be honest I never really gave the ones I was prescribed a real chance though– whoops) but I knew I needed help and I needed to take action. My doctor listened to me and then he said, "Do you know that in the last 3 years the only time you have come to see me has been in February?" My mind was blown. He helped me realize that the winter really affects my mental health.
So now back to today. Today I woke up feeling really blah, like I have every day for the last several weeks, even on Valentine's Day! I went to work feeling like I didn't know if I could make it through the day. I just felt like quitting on life. Not because anything has changed or I've been through any kind of tragedy. Nothing has gone wrong. I have many things to look forward to and I know the sun will come out again soon. But I was just feeling at my end mentally.
Then on my drive home from work I decided to listen to the latest podcast episode that Rachel Hollis has put out. It happened to be an interview with Joe Biden. I had no idea what to expect. My knowledge of Joe Biden started at the fact that he was the Vice President for Barack Obama, and ended at the fact that he was on an episode of Parks and Rec and Leslie Knope loved him on the show.
Anyway, some of the things he said really got my spirits back up and made me feel motivated to get through this winter productively, and not simply survive it. I'm not going to recant what he said because I wouldn't know how to do that, but he has been able to find love, meaning, and purpose out of grief, sorrow, and pain, and that is very inspiring.
So while I listened to Mr. Biden, I cleaned up my home, got in my workout clothes, and went to the gym. I am ready to finish my day strong. And I'm ready to have a good day tomorrow.
